Confession of a Cheat

It is said that confession is good for the soul.

I need to confess.

Yesterday I cheated on my eating plan.

Allow me to explain...

For the past several months I have been eating a new way and have been feeling fabulous.  I've mostly cut out meat and dairy and have greatly reduced my intake of refined grains and sugars.  I've been eating large amounts of fresh, colorful fruits and veggies, as well as nuts and seeds.  My energy level has been high.  My mood has been elevated.  PMS symptoms have disappeared.  In short, I've just felt absolutely fantastic!

But then came yesterday, after a trip to the grocery store, and my son and I were driving home.  He opened the large bag of tortilla chips I had purchased for our taco salad dinner.  I looked over at him, happily munching away, talking about the day.  I was enjoying him and the moment, and I mindlessly reached over and grabbed a chip.  Man, that was good.  I grabbed another.  And another and another and then a whole handful (while still driving... perhaps more dangerous than talking on a cell phone while driving).

I can't describe how that crunchy saltiness delighted my taste buds.  It was like a happy, salty party in there!  My son and I kept talking and laughing and I kept grabbing one handful after another.

We got home, and he asked if we could have nachos instead of taco salad.  I was so "in" with that idea!  I made up a big pile of nachos on a large cookie sheet:  peppers, onions, beans, olives, and of course, LOTS OF CHEESE.  They came out of the oven a picture of culinary perfection, the cheese perfectly melted.  I served my boys a plate each, while I hovered over the pan and nibbled.

Don't you know, I ate the rest, which was half a cookie sheet of loaded nachos.

I don't know what kind of spell came over me.  I couldn't stop.  (Well, I probably could have, but I just didn't want to.)

I and my "food baby" (a term my friend uses after she's waaaaay overeaten and feels five or six months pregnant) waddled over to the couch.  About a half hour later it hit me:  I wasn't feeling too good.   First it started out as slight irritability and a sort of fuzzy headache.  It intensified and I wanted to snap at everyone around me and tell them to be quiet.  My stomach wobbled.  And then I felt myself slipping into an overeating-induced coma and just wanted to sleep.

I recognized that my body was in a skirmish and I commenced to drinking water in an attempt to flush out my system.  Four hours later when I went to bed, my stomach was still feeling unfabulous.

I woke up with a nacho hangover.

Was it worth it?  You know, I think it was.  I thoroughly enjoyed that meal.  I was so "in the moment" of it, and it felt good.  And in a weird sort of way, I was thankful to have had that reaction in my body.  It used to be that I could eat just about anything and feel no ill effects.  But now I rejoice that I felt gross.  It is a sign to me that I am becoming healthier and can feel the difference between giving my body healthy fuel to run on, and junk, which made my engine sputter and clunk.

Would I do it again?  Yeah, probably.  But not today.  Or tomorrow.  I'll focus on giving my body what it needs to cleanse itself and get back to running smoothly.  I much prefer feeling good than bad.

Thanks for listening to my confession.  I feel better now.